Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox http://tfl.nu/m5tb
  Replies (7) Good night (2058) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing

  (719): View more from Colorado

  The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing (719): The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors? (303 ): Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner http://tfl.nu/juf5
  Replies (13) Good night (2667) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic http://tfl.nu/fwzo
  Replies (58) Good night (1117) Bad night (5647)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother? http://tfl.nu/8hut
  Replies (8) Good night (4150) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids. http://tfl.nu/o5lf
  Replies (15) Good night (3291) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month. http://tfl.nu/gnax
  Replies (4) Good night (3048) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (+82): View more from South Korea

  Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+82): Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too. http://tfl.nu/v8p8
  Replies (6) Good night (2480) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/xi8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1406) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon (310): Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/u7vm
  Replies (6) Good night (2231) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/l7dr
  Replies (7) Good night (1526) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744
  Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened? http://tfl.nu/0nes
  Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together. http://tfl.nu/4qd6
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina http://tfl.nu/l91f
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me http://tfl.nu/vd1r
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (159)

Randomize