My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
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I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit