Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

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  (504): can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am... http://tfl.nu/u07k
  Replies (4) Good night (1742) Bad night (607)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus

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  (517): careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus http://tfl.nu/qcmy
  Replies (23) Good night (3011) Bad night (694)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick

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  (703): Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick http://tfl.nu/1qrd
  Replies (32) Good night (3029) Bad night (954)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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  (704): My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to http://tfl.nu/cyq1
  Replies (13) Good night (4921) Bad night (1132)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night

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  (732): His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/6kh8
  Replies (11) Good night (2529) Bad night (1052)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.

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  (608): We should search craigslist for porches to sublet. http://tfl.nu/mpxg
  Replies (2) Good night (1763) Bad night (771)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...

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  (952): nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough... http://tfl.nu/8n56
  Replies (6) Good night (927) Bad night (2552)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.

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  (815): we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend. http://tfl.nu/dsgm
  Replies (2) Good night (1669) Bad night (584)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I have him when you're done?

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  (903): He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding (541): Can I have him when you're done? http://tfl.nu/4y2y
  Replies (14) Good night (3893) Bad night (876)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.

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  (450): If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/1adz
  Replies (12) Good night (1344) Bad night (584)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant

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  (937): I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/spdi
  Replies (10) Good night (1236) Bad night (405)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time

  (917): View more from New York City

  An adult?

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  (516): Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time (917): An adult? http://tfl.nu/ka62
  Replies (3) Good night (1421) Bad night (399)
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  (310): View more from California

  Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?

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  (310): Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public? http://tfl.nu/31zf
  Replies (2) Good night (976) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.

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  (870): Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world. http://tfl.nu/aaq7
  Replies (2) Good night (375) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.

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  (412): We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud. http://tfl.nu/dhe8
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (198)

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