wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.