i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often