Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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