evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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