She is in my trunk
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
