I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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