fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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