I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
