we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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