My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
