So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
did i walk over a car last night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
