So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
