I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
