Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize