Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
