im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
