Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You were trust falling into bushes
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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