Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
they're like a gay fantastic four
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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