I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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