Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
