He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
