4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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