For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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