2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
