Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
