There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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