Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
