First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
