My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize