I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
