drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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