I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
