so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You need a sexual gate keeper
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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