Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
