Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
