We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
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I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize