I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
