well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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