So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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