Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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