i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
