just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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