U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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