what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
