she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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