i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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