His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
