laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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