Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
