margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
