ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
