none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
