He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your penis caused this!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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