Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My liver just had a heart attack.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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