waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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