Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
this boner is exhausting
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
