You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
