You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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