sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
