i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
