Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize