Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize