god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
