So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
