just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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