Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
