Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
